Before talking about toxic behavior, I want to remind you of the meaning of toxicity. Toxic means poisonous or severe exhaustion. Toxic people are those people who are full of negative energy. Have you noticed that sometimes you just sit with someone and feel tired or uneasy? Sometimes, there is no conversation between you, and you get something that makes you feel awkward. That is the energy of this person.
Every human has some kind of energy. And toxic people suck your energy through words, non-verbal actions, and verbal actions. They are so full of poison that they start poisoning your life. You, me, and almost everyone encounter such people in our lives. People can be good but still toxic in some of their behaviour.
Sometimes, they are in your family or friend circle, at your workplace, and sometimes, people who are very close to your heart. You can’t change them; even if you try, they will refuse to admit it. Their ego is so high that they will never want to change themselves. Here, it is essential to consider that a toxic person can be you in your life. No one is perfect, and everyone learns throughout the life.
Dealing with people becomes easy when you know what is toxic and what is not. Not all people who show lousy behaviour are toxic. Some people want continuous sympathy and approval from you. They are clingy. A journey starts with you. First, you need to be careful of yourself. Recognizing toxicity inside you and then working on it is most appreciated.
But here I am going to explain to you how to respond to toxic people around you. If you find something below in you, you must get rid of it.
How I Respond To Toxic People?
If I look back, I have dealt with some toxic people. Some were my friends at college and university level and sometimes in relationships. Reflecting on the situations they created in my life is not easy. They make me uncomfortable, they make me feel unworthy. I remembered their taunts and bullying in jokes. People get hurt in the wrapping of jokes, mostly. For a long time, I ignored them, but deep down, I felt uncomfortable and awkward.
They were making my life hard to me. Some were manipulative. It was tough to avoid them because I was emotionally attached to them. And the toxicity in my closed one was always hard to admit. I have a soft corner for them in my heart. I was not responding correctly and ignoring the situation because I did not want to lose them. I was afraid of being left alone. I was scared until their behavior crossed the limits. Until I realized the problem was not with me but with themselves.
Their negative energy was darkening my mind. Their behavior made me feel so low that I lost my confidence, and I was about to lose myself. I was bearing them by expecting that they would change. The only way to eliminate their toxicity was to take some actions and respond to them. I choose to be at a distance from such people. When I limited my contact, I noticed the big troubles they were creating. My mind was under their control, and it was natural to get the impact of people around me.
It took me time to recover from their misbehavior fully. To set boundaries by telling them that they can never talk about me in that way again, not even in-jokes, and knowing my worth was my first step. The next I will explain below.
Characteristics of Toxic People
- They suck your positive energy.
- They make you question your sanity.
- Toxic people are selfish, but they never admit it.
- They are judgemental and think without considering reality.
- They are manipulative and always try to prove themselves right.
- Toxic people always blame you for everything and never accept their fault.
- They never get satisfied and show rude behavior toward weak and poor people.
- They invalidate your feelings and always make you feel awkward about yourself.
- Such people have terrible listening abilities and argue like they know everything.
Take a pause and read all of that again. You will find people with such characteristics around you. And be aware of yourself, too.
Why People are Toxic
Before discussing dealing with such people, knowing what makes people toxic is essential. Being aware of such things is necessary for your peace. Remember, you do not have to hate such people, but avoid their poisonous behavior. Do not get impacted by their toxicity, and do not associate yourself too much with them. The following reasons can make people toxic, even if they are unaware of it.
But these reasons belong to them, not you, you have to protect yourself at your own pace. You can help them but don’t involve yourself too much if this destroys your peace.
Past Trauma
Past hurts can make people act mean sometimes. They might be scared or sad and not know how to deal with it well, so they lash out. This doesn’t make it okay, but that can be the reason behind toxic behaviour.
Low Self-Esteem
When people feel bad about themselves, it can be like a dark cloud. They might not see their good qualities and feel insecure. To feel better, they might try to bring you down. They try to make you feel awkward about yourself to cover their insecurities so you can not see their truth. This can be through teasing, name-calling, or putting down others emotionally.
Personality Disorder
Personality disorders are like seeing the world through different glasses. Someone with a disorder might not mean to be mean, but their actions can hurt. They might have trouble seeing things from another person’s point of view. This can cause arguments.
Unresolved Issues
When people have problems they haven’t dealt with, it can make them stressed or upset. Their behaviour becomes “toxic” because it can bring negativity and unhappiness to the people around them. It can be like being around someone who always complaining or bringing others down.
How to Respond to Toxic People?
With your response, they will be aware of their toxicity. Sometimes, you make them realize how much toxicity they have in their behaviour by your way of response. So, no matter how close they are to you and how much you like them, if they make you feel awkward, you have the freedom to respond to them.
Accept that you can grow apart from those who no longer positively impact your life. Let them go, Dont hinder your growth.
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is like drawing a line, it shows toxic people what you won’t accept. Boundaries keep toxic people from hurting you. You can avoid their drama and negativity by saying “no” and sticking to it. You become more assertive and happier by not letting them drain your energy. It is about self-care and protecting your happiness and well-being. It’s like saying, I love myself enough to deserve good things.
Learn to Avoid
Notice red flags. Watch out for people who make you feel bad or use you. Listen to your gut; if someone feels wrong, they probably are. Limit your contact with them. Surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals. Remember, their issues are theirs, not yours.
Do not Take It Personally
Imagine their toxicity like rain – it doesn’t mean you’re wrong, it just falls on you. Focus on your worth and not believe what they say about you because you know they are wrong. Do not make your heart full of sorrow by letting their opinions impact you. Talk to someone you trust about how they make you feel. You can’t control others, but you can control how you react and who you spend time with.
Put Yourself First
Putting yourself first means taking care of yourself and your needs. When you put yourself first, you won’t tolerate people who bring you down. Put yourself first, no matter how worthy these people are to you. By knowing your worth, you can see their negativity. You won’t let them control you or make you feel less than impressive.
Do not Wait for the Change
Protecting yourself from negativity is your responsibility. You don’t have to wait forever for bad people to change. Notice how someone makes you feel. If they drain your energy or make you stressed, avoid them as much as possible. Staying with them can put you in the worst suffering. You can’t change them every time. If you try, you will be tired at some point, and until then, you will lose all your energy.
Conclusion
We all encounter toxic individuals throughout our lives. The key is learning to spot them early and manage our interactions accordingly. Don’t get dragged into their negativity; don’t hesitate to walk away if they refuse to respect your boundaries. Your mental well-being deserves to be a priority. Surround yourself with positivity, and don’t settle for anything less.
Take care of yourself, focus on the good, and cultivate the life that makes you genuinely happy. Because at the end of the day, your happiness is what truly matters.
If you enjoy reading this blog, you will love to read my previous blog on what steps you need to take if you are stuck in self-acceptance and how I accept all my deficiencies.
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