The Ultimate Guide To Overcome Self-Comparison

Have you ever compared yourself to others? If you just focus on your every day, you will be amazed how often it happens! It’s a reality. You compare so often that you don’t even realize how badly it impacts you. Self-comparison leads you toward jealousy and low self-esteem. It makes you hollow from the inside. Have you ever sat and wondered why you compare yourself so much with the people around you who are living on the same earth, under the same sky? 

Comparison often starts with yourself. First, you compare how you look, your skin, your body, and your abilities. Second, you compare your relationships, your family, and your lifestyle. Then, the comparison starts with status. It’s a continuous list of things. Comparison can be positive if you think in the right direction. It can motivate you. It depends on how you think. Your life is unique, and you compare your downside with the shining side of others. What about your good things?

As a life coach, I see many people who compare themselves too much, resulting in low self-esteem. Even though people compare themselves with strangers and with people on social media, they feel they are nothing as compared to others. They become mentally and emotionally ill. They become blind to the good things they have. They feel shame and lower self-esteem because they feel that they don’t meet society’s standards. 

If you look inside yourself, you will notice a comparison, at least on one of such things. Subconsciously, it became a habit. You can’t stop it until you are not conscious of it. How often do you compare it, and to whom do you compare it? The weird thing is that comparisons start without knowing the background of others. Maybe you are comparing your beginning with the middle of another, or you are comparing your middle with the end of a journey of someone else. Who knows!

Why You Compare Yourself To Others?

I am asking this question to you. Do you remember when you compared yourself for the very first time in your life? Maybe you compared yourself with the kid playing on your school grounds. You tried to be like that kid. Or maybe your self-comparison starts by seeing a beautiful actor or actress on TV. Whatever was that thing you compared, I am curious about what triggered that comparison. 

What did you think at that time, and who put these thoughts in your mind? Maybe the environment around you. Or maybe someone pointed to your ability or trait, which is not so good. And this compliment stuck in your mind. You grow with that, and these thoughts also grow with you. Whenever you see people who have that specific trait or ability at their best level, the comparison starts. 

Or maybe you were not okay with yourself. You disliked yourself because you did not have those things that you loved, but the people around you did. The reason is that you were not accepting yourself and were unaware of your uniqueness. And how can you see your good things when you are too busy to observe what other people own? 

Self-comparison starts because you think people are better than you or you are better than others. It’s either your superior complex or your inferior complex.

Is It Possible to Get Out of Self-Comparison?

Now, we will discuss whether it is really possible to escape that comparison. I would love to share what I did about that. I also once compared myself too much with others. I know how it feels when you think you are less than others. If you and I at that moment, look back we will notice that everyone’s life starts from zero. We were nothing but we were happy. That was the life without any such thoughts. 

Then, we grow up in a society where we face judgements, criticism, and insults. The comparison starts in such situations. But no one tells us how to deal with that, how to be strong from the inside. My list of comparisons was too long. My self-comparison starts when I see my favourite things in the hands of wealthy people. And often when people pay attention to whom who is more attractive than me. How I overcome all of that, is a journey. I will explain the strategy below.

But remember, the comparison is just a thought that hits your mind. As you think more and more, it becomes your part and your reality. Just take it as a thought and be conscious of overcoming it. When such thoughts hit you, notice what you can do about them. If you dislike something about yourself and you can change it, instead of comparing yourself, try to change it. Your true comparison is with the person you were yesterday, not with the people around you.

5 Steps to Stop Comparing Yourself

Comparison in a world of consciousness makes no sense. You do not know the background of the people around you or on social media. You don’t know their life stories. You only know what they tell you. The competition is totally unfair when you compare yourself with the people on social media. Instead of trying to be like them, be yourself. It’s most fair, to find your true uniqueness. 

Remember, your grass will never get greener by focusing on someone else’s lawn. Sometimes, you compare your lawn with someone else’s without even thinking their grass is not real. 

Follow the following steps to get out of self-comparison.

Catch Yourself and Pause

You feel shame and guilty about you by doing comparisons to others but believe me, comparing itself is a real shame. It means you do not have respect for yourself. The next time, when you catch yourself doing a comparison of yourself and your life, pause and take a deep breath. Close your eyes for a while and say to yourself that you are as worthy as others. You are unique and you have all the abilities in you to make yourself proud and to conquer the world. Focus on your thoughts and navigate how you feel. 

Be conscious about that and you will notice how often you compare yourself daily. You will realize how it’s impacting you. Instead of comparison take inspiration. Every shiny thing is not perfect. Train your mind to take it as it is, and stop comparing thoughts by looking at your good things.

Compare Yourself to Yourself

Make it a rule and be consistent about it. You don’t have to compare yourself to others but yourself. Compare yourself with your old self. Work on yourself by yourself. Take your responsibility and own your reality. Don’t care who is doing better than you. Care about what you are doing differently than last year. Don’t measure your progress by noticing other people. 

Remember, self-comparison can steal your joy and your dreams. Just focus on yourself and forget everything else. You have enough time to pursue your dreams. You can achieve everything you want to achieve. Respect yourself first, then believe in yourself.

Focus on Your Unique Journey

You, I, and every other soul on this planet are on a unique journey, and every journey is equally important for the progress of this planet. So, rather than idealizing someone, keep reminding yourself that someone else’s life is not perfect and is more important than yours. It’s important to know why you are here on this planet. Are you created to compare and feel low? Or were you created to live and find your purpose in life?

Your life is simply different from others. If you can’t be like someone else, know that no one other can be like you. Be authentic and wear your confidence. You are important and you are special.

Express Gratitude

Be grateful for the things you have. If you look clearly, you will notice you have so many blessings in your life while others pray for them. Every day, take a few minutes to think about things you’re grateful for. Keep a gratitude journal and write down three things you’re grateful for each day. 

Express gratitude to the people in your life. Tell your family and friends how much you appreciate them. Gratitude makes self-comparison less impactful. It helps to cultivate a more positive outlook and appreciate your unique journey.

Detox from Social Media

People on social media only share their best moments, vacations, and achievements, not their everyday struggles. Don’t compare your behind-the-scenes life to someone else’s carefully planned online persona. Try taking a social media break for a day, a weekend, or even longer. You might be surprised how refreshing it feels to disconnect and focus on your own life.

Conclusion

Constantly comparing yourself to others only causes disturbance and unhappiness. But by shifting your focus inward, you can cultivate a sense of self-worth and gratitude. Remember, you are on a unique path, with your own set of experiences, strengths, and goals. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Be grateful for the things that make you, you. And leave the highlight reels of strangers on social media behind. Embrace your journey, and watch your confidence fly up.

If you enjoy reading this blog, you will love to read my previous blog on how to deal with people’s toxic behavior.